The journey began with nothing. Not that we knew it.
Her little life hanging in the balance, the ventilator humming in the background. "A viral illness," they said, "there's nothing else we can do."
A startling, gut-sinking statement.
Prayers kept rising. Knees were bending.
And in an act of great mercy, God gave her body strength and healing.
He gave...Because she had nothing.
Like an engine needs a spark plug to ignite, our bodies need CD8 T-cells to initiate our immune system.
My 8 month old baby girl had none. We didn't know it yet.
It would be 6 weeks later, still in hospital -though out of ICU- still struggling to fully recover, when a specialist came to see us, asking more detailed questions and ordering a plethora of new tests. Two days after that, she came (jogging) to our room and sat us down.
Zero. Nada. Zilch.
That's how many CD8 T-cells they counted in her blood.
Diagnosed with severe combined immune deficiency (SCIDS) we moved immediately to discussion of treatment: bone marrow transplant.
Our instructions: Have our the other children delivered to the city for the next morning, everyone gets blood tests tomorrow. A donor must be found.
I thought it would be me. I would unreservedly, most eagerly do it. But they told me, the best case scenario was for another of my children to be a match - my 5 year old daughter or 3 year old son who were already on their way, driving with uncle and auntie.
Sending in one child to save the other.
"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9)
Holy words on pages I'd read my whole life had never felt more real. The gospel becoming clearer and visible to me.
Another miracle among the budding garden of answered prayers, our children are all donor matches - my oldest daughter would have the surgery to harvest her bone marrow for her baby sister.
Like a pong game I ran around the hospital on transplant day, from the operating room, to the little one's hospital room, to the walking path where I circled and prayed, to the coffee shop where family sat, to the recovery room, then eventually to the hotel room adjoining the hospital. But the focal point of the day remained, watching that bag of bone marrow infuse; a life-saving treatment.
"For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins" (Matt 26:28)
The Gospel becoming clearer still.
We'd wait an agonizing 10 days before the doc could start testing, before we'd start looking for something where there was nothing. Then, like waiting for dawn, we'd finally see numbers on the page to show her little body producing those truant T-cells. Her immune system was beginning new - once a factory whose conveyor belts lay bare, now lined with products.
We too, begin with nothing.
We have nothing to offer, to recommend ourselves to God.
Dead in our trespasses. Living only for ourselves. Separated from the One who created us.
Our sinful state isn't commendable.
"It is with our sins that we go to God, for we have nothing else to go with that we can call our own." (Horatius Bonar)
Maybe you grew up attending church regularly, can't remember a time we didn't own a bible or could sing a hymn. We may mistakenly assume we've had something given us, as if we're entitled to a pass on sinfulness.
We forget salvation is not earned, nor entitled to us because of our heritage.
My lineage passed along a deadly genetic disease to my child.
We all descend from the first man, endowing us with a sinful nature, embedded within us from the start. Yet by the grace of God the Spirit opens our spiritual eyes and we are given a gift.
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace" (Eph 1:7)
How amazing to be given a treasure so great when we had nothing!
We are alive and made new. We're the conveyor belts flowing with His gifts to pass on His love and grace to the world. We're filled with His fullness, being renewed and transformed day by day.
We sit in the doctors office, it's 6 years after her transplant now. He circles a number on her blood test results and points out, "here, we started with nothing." It's 752 now. A normal, healthy number.
And when I'm tempted to think the greatest thing God ever did for me was His mercy in restoring the life of my child, I'm mistaken.
It's the grace He first gave me.
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." (Ps 103:2-5).
What is the greatest thing God has done for you? Honestly think about your answer and take some time to reflect on how much greater is His gift of the Gospel.
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